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Sung to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody (for a soulful tone)
or Weird Al Yankovic's Bohemian Polka (for an uptempo beat)

Is this my real life?
Is it just fantasy?
Caught in a land slide,
no escape from reality.

Open your eyes,
Listen a while and see.
I was taken, before I could be
a little cub, little goy.
Cobrawolf, made it so.
Anything but Windows!
Nothing but penguins for me,
for me.

Rapest, probe a goy.
Grow hir in a bed;
Pour a human in hir head.
Mama, life had just begun.
But now they've gone and f***ed it anyway.
Mama, oo-OO-oo (Anything but Windows)
Didn't mean to make you cry.
They put me on Sol 3 without sorrow.
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters.

Too late; my time has come.
Send me back; am I fine?
My history in due time.
Goodbye everybody, I got to go.
Gotta leave you all behind and save the world.
Mama, oo-OO-oo (Anything but Windows)
I don't want to sigh
I sometimes wish to be left alone.

I see a little silhouette of a man.
Scaramouch! Scaramouch! Is it a Sput Class?
Training, intensive rentention effort here!
Gallileo? Gallileo.
Gallileo? Gallileo.
RedWolf's found, will shi goooo....? HEY HEY HEY!
I'm just a WolfSkunk? What is with me?
Shi's a WolfSkunk, human male personality.
Send hir to Star Fleet Military!
Plonk War four; Hope no more; will you let me go?
Ma-jor NO! We will not let you go! LET HIR GO!
Squish-y war! Save Aquin's butt! LET HIR GO!
Capt-ian NO! We will not let you go! LET HIR GO!
Use the Black Hole! LET HIR GO!
Cobrawolves really blow! LET HIR GO!

Oh mama mia, Unit Zero, Control let me go!
I'm a shapeshifter, Polymorph, can't you see?
You see? You SEEEEEEEEE?!?!?

So you think you can kill me and leave me to die?
So you think my mind's going to fry?
Oh baby, I run Linux baby!
Toss that idea out; Toss it right outta here!

Nothing is solid.
Problems' all I see.
Duct tape really matters.
Duct tape, really matters, to me....

Anything but Windows.